Lexi has a secret.

She never meant for her mom to find out. And now she’s afraid that what’s left of her family is going to fall apart for good.

Lexi knows she can fix everything. She can change. She can learn to like boys. New Horizons summer camp has promised to transform her life, and there’s nothing she wants more than to start over.

But sometimes love has its own path…

As with Verdi’s other novels, this is a thoughtful queer story with a well-developed protagonist and side characters whose story does not follow the expected beats of a gay conversion camp. What I mean to say is that it’s complicated much like life is.

For instance, Lexi does not hate herself or think she’s an abomination yet she does want to become straight and tries to keep an open-mind about New Horizons. Surprising, but Verdi lays out Lexi’s thought process in a way that you can understand why she’s willing to try. Her father’s dead, and her mother is her only family left. She can’t lose her mother just as she knows her mother can’t function without her as her grief has left her incapable of basic things like cooking, paying the bills etc. So if the de-gayifying thing eases her mother’s mind, she’ll try.

But there’s a little more to that than just pleasing her mother as Lexi realizes during her eight week stay. She also fears rejection after her big crush on Zoe Green is not only unreciprocated but shot down with disgust. Being straight would be easier in her small-town, and she wouldn’t have to experience that brutal heartache. It helps in the way New Horizons initially presents itself and its exercises, she believes it can be a choice.

We all know that’s not true, and Verdi masterfully shows the scam these conversion camps are, and how they’re emotionally and physically traumatizing to its residents. A kind of insidiousness that is hidden by religion and smiles and denial best exemplified by the higher-ups in camp like Mr. Martin and Brianna whose hypocrisy is galling.

Lexi’s voice is a relatable one as she’s secure enough in her self that she doesn’t blindly believe in gender norms will make her less attracted to women, and later on, that being straight will make her happy. Rather it’s not enough to live in the grey – lying about who she is and who she loves – but that embracing love and friends make you strong enough to face your fears.

The supporting characters also feel well-developed with differing backstories and motivations that don’t fit into the stereotypes you see in movies tackling the topic of gay conversion like The Mis-education of Cameron Post or Boy Erased which I think adds to the realism. Plus the friendship between Lexi, Carolyn, Daniel and Matthew was adorable and I loved how it made them more courageous in subtle yet noticeable ways.

The romance between Lexi and Carolyn was sweet as they share annotations and favorite quotes from The Great Gatsby and let’s face it, the added tension of it being forbidden adds to the build-up. But I think it’s a bit overshadowed by the reveal of Mr. Martin’s hypocrisy as I got pulled in by how they would find proof of his nefarious doings.

Overall, a stirring coming of age, 4 stars.