Candice Jalili is an author and journalist whose work can be found in many major publications, The Cut, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone and Elite Daily where she held the role of Senior Dating Writer for four years. She is also the author of Just Send the Text: An Expert’s Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating and the upcoming Finding Famous. She graciously took the time to have a phone interview with me to discuss her fiction debut, favorite authors and more.

Since this was a phone interview based on my hastily typed notes as she talked, these are not direct quotes. Enjoy!

1. To start off simple, when did you first begin writing? 

I’ve been writing my whole life. I went to a Montessori school from preschool to 6th grade where we were encouraged to do what we were interested in. I did a lot of short stories, creative writing but I lost that in middle school.

I didn’t reconnect with it until college where I was a creative writing major and my friend encouraged me to apply for a Cosmopolitan internship. I got it and that also reignited my interest in writing. I got a few bylines and really enjoyed my work there. By my senior year I started doing a lot of freelance writing.

2. What were some of your inspirations?

There are a lot of YA books that I read when I was younger that served as an inspiration for me to fall in love with reading and writing like Lisi Harrison’s The Clique, The A-List by Zoey Dean, Cecily Von Zeigesar’s Gossip Girl, Meg Cabot’s The Princess Diaries, and anything Judy Blume. None of them are summer reading for school, but I think there’s a lot of value in books that are just fun. It encourages kids to read more. Those authors were and still are like gods to me, and they gave me such a passion for writing. This book is sort of my homage to all those that I loved back then.

As I got older there were some nonfiction and editorial writers that I’ve grown to love like Dolly Alderton’s Dear Dolly column; E. Jean Caroll, I loved her articles for Elle; Nancy Jo Sales wrote a profile of Paris and Nicky Hilton when they were younger that I came across later, and I just love her writing style for all her profiles.

3. What was your internship at Cosmopolitan like? 

I had so much fun at Cosmopolitan. I talked about this with my therapist, that I’m trying to get back that mindset I had at that time in my life. There was a beauty in not taking it too seriously. I was so excited to be there, and I had wonderful mentors who treated me well.

The editor that hired me made me feel very valued. She wanted to hear my opinion on things, and encouraged us to make pitches. I made friends with other interns that I continue to talk to – one just visited my apartment last week. Even those I didn’t stay in touch with, I still valued what I’d learned from them and looked up to them.

I also just learned from the article topics. One article I was transcribing was about negotiating pay since many women are paid lower wages and don’t know how to negotiate their salaries. I still think about that one to this day.

I also learned a lot about journalism on the fly. I had applied as a creative writing major, I didn’t know many of the terms but I naively applied and it worked out.

It was like the opposite of the Devil Wears Prada experience.

4. You held the role of Senior Dating Writer at Elite Daily for several years, how did your column come about? What did the job entail?

For a while, I had a column about women sending stories about being ghosted, Boom Ghosted, which was a great way to connect readers and connect with brands, like Bumble, who reached out and took some admirable action when one of our readers shared a poor experience with a guy from their app.

My earliest articles as Senior Dating Writer started as a stream of consciousness about my own experiences as a single woman in NY. That was until I got my own relationship, then it was about connecting with readers’ stories, talking to dating experts and finding solutions to their problems.

I always knew I had a good article if my friends thought I was writing about them, I wasn’t, but because we deal with variations of the same problem, it has a universality about it.

Near the end, I did a lot of pop culture articles which inspired a lot of my book.

5. Several years ago, you released a book with dating advice-what was it like transferring your knowledge from articles to book? 

Daunting at first, but I was well prepared. I looked at it as a long-form of articles I’ve written. It allowed me to delve deeper into topics and weave in more personal narratives. I’m still proud of it and stand by it as so many books focused on “Ways to Get Your Man,” in a heteronormative sense, and it can cause a lot of anxiety that it’s not enough to be you.

6. While it’s best for others to read the book, what was the most important thing you found about dating anxiety? 

I noticed so many articles about dating were about having to change yourself or if you were single, you didn’t play the game right. The person who is meant for you will like you for who you are.

Being alone isn’t the ideal for many people but I interviewed women who were happy being single, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they’re all now happy in relationships. They were fine with their state in their life, they loved themselves, which is hard but it attracts the person for you.

7. This is your first fiction novel, how does your work from Cosmo/Elite Daily/The Cut etc. influence or help you in writing the ritzy, reality life of the Mashads? 

I covered lots of celebrity relationships so it gave me a lot of inspiration for the world I wanted to set up and the universe they’re in.

But through my relationship articles and talking to family counsellors, I had a lot to work with the family dynamics and communication that is a major theme throughout the book.

8. Was your writing process different for the novel? 

Writing a novel utilizes a different part of your brain entirely. Mapping out the plot, mapping out the characters and how they react to things. I like to write detailed outlines of everything which is different from the more straightforward structure of an article.

The edits are different too as article edits are more about grammar, factual details, updating structure, or revising a piece that is confusing. Novel editing is more esoteric since it’s about the characters and plot, which can take up a lot more time.

I did use some nonfiction writing tactics like conducting research, scheduling interviews with people who live in LA and work on reality shows. Plus watching reality tv to understand their arcs and structures.

9. Where was your inspiration for the Mashad family duology?

All the YA novels I mentioned before were an inspiration, and this is sort of my own version.

The Mashards also have some clear parallels to the Kardashians. I was raised in a large, female-centric family so it’s a bit of a fusion of the two but it’s not based on either one entirely. Same with Josie’s friendship, which was inspired by my own childhood best friends who’ve stayed close through adulthood.

10. Can you describe Josie, Ali and other Mashad family members we will be meeting and their family dynamics? 

Josie is an exaggerated version of myself at her age, precocious, socially awkward, big hearted. But she has an unexpected confidence, like she’s confident in her awkwardness and proud of who she is. There’s a few makeover moments but Josie’s staunch about remaining true to who she is while navigating this immensely powerful and famous world.

Her mother, who’s Persian, died recently, and she lives with her American stepdad who adopted her. With her death, Josie feels like that part of herself died too until she meets the Mashads, who are Persian, and comes to reconnect with her heritage even as she struggles with learning new details about her late mother’s past.

Ali is dead in the book, but he’s powerful, and impactful to the story. He was on the show, but died relatively recently and America mourned when he died. America viewed him as sort of the ultimate father so it’s extra confounding to Josie when he couldn’t be a father to her.

There’s also Josie’s sisters, Mona, Meesha, Melody, and her step-mom, Mary Mashad. She is a complex character, they all are and Josie must navigate these new characters in her life and the pressures of being part of this powerful family when they welcome her into it.

You can learn more (and read her articles) on Candice’s website and all relevant social media: https://www.candicejalili.com/